New Year, New Beginnings - and the fall of a perfectionist homeschooling mother...

None of you are like that though right? Struggling, striving, exhausted, stressed and burnt out, perfectionist, homeschooling mothers?
Striving for that perfect yearly plan, termly plan, weekly plan, daily routine, book, curriculum, homeschool and the children to do it?
Well I've learnt my lesson the hard way - and I thank God for His grace and wisdom in teaching it to me.

We stopped for a very long break over Christmas as owing to being in the first trimester of my fourth pregnancy i was not well enough to keep up with planning and implementing the schooling for the boys. However, the new year has brought with it the second trimester and a new lease of life for the time being -praise the Lord! and also new beginnings in our home school.

Out of necessity I have had to release my dream of a purely Charlotte Mason style education. The fact is - we have found it hard to do CM having not done it from the beginning - the boys came from attending public school for a number of years , then started home schooling - whilst the transition can and has been made by many before us - for us after 2 years it was not happening - and it has to be said this is more down to me and  my ability to learn it, and implement it, rather than the boys themselves - though there were one or two issues for them as individuals as well. Maybe this could I am sure, have all been sorted with more time -  however, on learning I was pregnant and with my youngest due to leave nursery and start home education at the same time Baby is due....i needed to find a path that was less teacher dependent and more independant for the two older boys.
(All you CM'ers out there are probably throwing your hands up and shouting at the screen "but cm is not teacher led - the teacher should not be getting in the way of the child and the living books!" and I agree - but in practice for us at least, all my time was spent reading, planning, learning about CM for myself how to improve narrations, trying to blend different years to suit the individual child - especially with public school background, planning, tweaking, planning, narrations, and more planning as we still haven't mastered this part of cm and that part is still missing from our school so we are failing - scratch that I  must be failing as the pupil can only go as far as the teacher right? so more planning, changing, research, planning - you get the idea.... My whole life was about schooling and there was no time for anything else - it was becoming a burden too big to bear, and was robbing me (and our family) in so many ways  - and so with the news of baby no 4 - I knew I couldn't carry on like this - The boys were not getting much done because i was never 'ready' for them - I had no time to enjoy the boys, or be with my Husband, this would only get worse as life was about to get more busy....

The outcome?

I love the CM philosophy and so I am not abandoning it all together - in fact I am hoping (though I am not rushing in to any decision yet) to use CM with my 4 year old when he is ready - the hope being, that using it from the beginning will mean it is easier for him and myself to implement and learn together as he grows.
For the older two, the plan that has come about, (after much crying out to the Lord, seeking the advise of my Husband, and the advise of his parents who home schooled him and his siblings), at first, railed against my 'perfectionist' spirit, but now we are nearly through our first week, I am left smiling and so are the boys! I have spare time to write this blog, do chores, prepare good wholesome food, and be the wife and mother I am supposed to be - not just a teacher.
 I do believe CM is the 'best' we can give our children - if we can.
And there is the 'rub'.
 I have come to see the best is actually not any good if it's not getting done - so therefore the 'best' is whatever you manage to use and get done in your home, and which does not become so burdensome that you have no time for maintaining those vital relationships in the home - with the Lord , your spouse, and with your children, and their relationships with each other. All I was teaching my children through my everyday living was that doing the will of God is hard, exhausting, too much to handle, and takes you away from family, the impression i was leaving on my children was one of anxiety, frustration, tiredness and grumpiness, that achieving was the most important thing  etc etc - this was giving a false , untrue image of God, His provision, and His way of living, loving and obeying - it made Him seem like a hard task master rather than a loving Father full of grace and peace - all because of my fleshly drive to do the "best" (to my mind!)
So, yet again , God has had to remind me -"My ways are not your ways" and so I have had to humbly submit to God - and lay down my pride, my ways, my plans and ideas of what are best - and surrender to His way for us to go at this time...
Next time i will post how our days are looking, and what we are doing.  Fear not - there is still some CM in there - but without the pressure I / we were experiencing before. Joy has returned - as it was bound to, once coming back in line with God's plan for us.

I guess I write all this to let you other home schoolers out there know - take courage - none of us are perfect, we make bad choices, feel guilty, feel like we are failing, you are not alone! But listen:  it's ok to not do exactly what any given curriculum or method says to - please don't let your chosen method become your master, let it be a tool  and do not be afraid to have more than one tool - whatever you need to make a right fit for your family - is good and ok - and don't let anyone (including yourself - all you perfectionists out there!) tell you any different.
 Keep going back to His throne of grace to find help in time of need.
Where God leads, He provides.
Whilst we are to expect trouble in this life as Jesus said we would, He also promised His burden is easy and light - so as I have learned the hard way this last year - if it is not easy and light - maybe you have added your own extras to His perfect one?

Grace and Peace to you.
Jo x

A message for mothers.....Be of good courage

Sorry to all who may have been waiting for a while to see a post make it's way here  - Life just happens and time flies!

So...Happy Mothers Day to all you home educating mums out there.
 I wonder how you are feeling today?
Perhaps you feel on top of everything and are delighting in being  Queen of your kingdom, all your little princes and princesses are today showing you - we love you, you're great, thanks for everything, you do a grand job!
 Or,  maybe today you are feeling less than perfect....just keeping your head above water maybe.....your little ones are also saying thank you, we love you, you're a great mum, ....but maybe you do not believe it? Maybe you are feeling a down right failure in some areas.
As Mums in general, especially home educating ones, we have important decisions to make all the time  - and our choices affect our children and their future.....It's a big job, with awesome responsibility... Maybe some of you are in a place right now of -'I'm just not enough' , this is too big a job, what hope do I have of doing a good job with my kids and their learning....there are all sorts of reasons why we get to this place every now and then. Like the children of Israel we look at the promised land and cry out , 'the land is good but it's inhabited by giants!'

Please mums - be encouraged. We have all been there, stayed there for a bit, moved on and sometimes gone back there again for a regular visit!

My mother in law - a godly Titus 2 woman - unknowingly encouraged me with this week by sharing a particular passage from the bible. I have been in this  'overwhelmed with the job and responsibility, and fear of failing my boys'  place this week as I am looking to try to make decisions in curriculum , habit training, character development etc for the coming school year. I am fully aware of the last 2 years - the wrong choices, failed attempts and wasted time on different curriculum etc. And then there is the future....gulp. What if I make the wrong choice, what if  when they are 17 they don't know about x, y and z and everyone else does, what if..... what if..... what if....  STOP!

What if.....You are not alone in this job?
What if .....You have a co-worker?
What if .....Your co-worker is wise, loving, strong, ready to give wisdom, love and strength when ever you ask for it....?
What if......Your co-worker has foreseen the future of your child, has a tailor made plan for your child and made provision for it....? (Jeremiah 29 v 11) (2 cor 9 v 8)
What if.......Your co-worker then goes one step further and says, "I am your co-worker you just plant the seed...I'll take care of the growth ?....

So then  - all God asks of me (aside from training and disciplining the children) is to prayerfully plant the seeds He tells me to,  in their  lives - He will take care of the rest....  He knows the plans He has for them in the future, and He knows what each child will need to walk in those plans. He has already put talents and gifts in each child ready for use in His service later -we just plant seeds, water seeds, and He will cause the growth.

The passage, I mentioned earlier, that my mother in law read was this:

I have planted, Apollos watered; but God gave the increase. So then neither is he that planteth any thing, neither he that watereth; but God that giveth the increase.....For we are labourers together with God....
1Cor 3: 6-9

I hope this gives some of you encouragement for the enormous task we have as mothers.... and let us not forget - His grace is sufficient for us.

Mothers!
You have a fellow labourer in your work, a co-worker.
Just think for a moment on who He is, what He has done.
 He is Almighty God, Jehovah Jireh - the God whose provision will be seen, He is the creator of the earth, the heavens , the entire, vast and awesome universe, He created you , formed you , loves you, sent His son to die for you - will He not now give you anything you need? Having done so much for you - will He now abandon you? NO!  You may feel like a grasshopper compared to what ever giants are in your life, but you are not taking on that giant alone -  those giants are like dust to Him  who says to you, 'Be strong and of good courage, be not afraid, neither be dismayed: for the LORD your God is with you..' and,  'I will not fail you, nor forsake you..' Joshua ch 1 v 5, 9

There is none like unto the God of Jeshurun, who rideth upon the heaven in thy help, and in His excellency on the sky. The eternal God is thy refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms: and He shall thrust out the enemy from before thee; and shall say, 'Destroy them'. Deuteronomy 33 v 27

 May we be of a different spirit like Joshua and Caleb, and say 'The LORD is with us, fear them not!' Numbers 14 v 9



Grace and Peace xx

New Beginnings.....Turning away from Epypt, looking ahead to the promised land.

Leaving Egypt Behind!

Having had a break for the summer ( that long wet thing with a couple of baking hot days chucked in for good measure), I am now in the throws of preparing for a new school year.
I have had some what of a simplification in terms of curriculum. Over the last year we have skipped about  and dabbled in all sorts of methods and materials, and it has left me feeling some what 'over wrought' there are so many 'good' materials, curriculums, plans etc I end up feeling like I have to do them all or else we'll be missing out, but in trying to encapsulate it all we do little of any! I also found my original 'vision' for the boys home schooling was slowly being lost and sacrificed to these 'ways that seem right',

There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death. Proverbs 14:12

So after a break from the school mindset, and a crying out to God, My answer came as I read my 2yo his bedtime story from the lions story teller bible. I read the story of Gideon. He came before the Lord with his thousands of men ready for battle, and God said to him (remember this is a childs bible!),

"Gideon, you have far too many men, send some away.""There are more Midianites than I can count!" Gideon stammered. "I need all the help I can get.".... God answers, "I am all the help you need". (After purging the troops twice, Gideon is left with 300 men against the thousands of the Midianite army.)'But, how can we win?" stammers Gideon, "You can't," God said,"Not without my help. And that's what I want you to see. Here's my plan...."

As I read that, it was like God speaking into my heart.
"You have too much, get rid of some,  you can't do it on your own, seek my way."

As I dwelt on that the next day, different quotes came to mind, like,
 "God can do little with much, much with little and everything with nothing."
"Your children shall be taught of the Lord." Isaiah 54:13
"Don't despise small beginnings"
 "My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD." Isaiah 55:8
 "The wisdom of this world is foolishness with God." 1 Cor 3 :19
"But God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty;" 1 Cor 1:27.

 If Gideon had fought with his army of thousands, the people would have boasted in Gideon and themselves, but this way, God revealed himself to his people - mighty to save, He got the glory, the people got to see Gods loving protection, and mighty power working on their behalf. Little is much with God - look at the loaves and fishes that fed the five thousand.

Ok Lord, I'm thinking, but  I NEED this stuff else I can't do the job. (So full of faith aren't I! Just like Gideon said, "but Lord I need all the help I can get!")

 The following day, we are on one of our canal walks with a friend and her 2 children, the big children (my 2 boys and my friends daughter) are throwing stones and rocks at a branch that has got stuck in the middle of the canal, they are trying to free it to watch it float down the canal, some time  and some huge rocks later, it hasn't budged. Along comes my 2 yo with a little stone in his hands and on his very first throw, the little stone bounces off the branch, and half a second later the branch drops a bit and then floats off down stream. My friend and I both cheered, my 2yo looked very pleased, and I said to my friend,  "after all those big rocks, splashes and attempts by the big children,  it just took that little stone in the hands of Smith!" and that's when I remembered, Gideon, and it was like God was saying "Exactly!" "what seems like little, or insufficient isn't when I'm involved." and the scripture came to mind too about having the faith of a little child....

Your Father knoweth the things you have need of,
before you ask him. Mt 6:8

And one more witness of confirmation - as if  I needed it! The 'Raising Olives' blog that I like to read, sent a post to my e-mail entitled 'pursuing academic wood, hay and stubble' (click the link to have a look - it's well worth the time). The title says it all.

For other foundation can no man lay than that is laid, which is Jesus Christ.

 Now if any man build upon this foundation gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, stubble;

 Every man's work shall be made manifest: for the day shall declare it, because it shall be revealed by fire; and the fire shall try every man's work of what sort it is. ! Cor 3:11-13 (again!)

So After all this and some struggling on my part to relinquish my 'crutches' of what I thought was the best  - I feel God has led me to use something  which does not have all the bells and whistles but there is a sense of freedom and excitement in the simplicity.

He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness, for His name's sake.
Ps 23

I will be posting on specifics soon enough as it all takes shape.It's exciting and freeing when you just accept the fact that looking back to Egypt for the way to live in the promised land is bondage, not freedom. More than that - it is lack of Faith in the God who has brought us so far. I am not saying that all the materials I tried beforehand (which were all Christian) are wrong (they are still on the shelf as research tools for the children if they should be needed), just that they were wrong for me - because of how I was using them  in my old  school 'egyptian' mindset. So we are on a journey of faith, being led (hopefully!) by the Lord into our 'promised land' of the home school God designed for us.

How about you?
Do you still find yourself looking back to Egypts standards and ways?
Or is your mind a lot more renewed than mine!?!
 Thank God he is a God of Grace - but also loves us so much He is prepared to discipline us when we need it - to keep us close to Him.

I love you Lord!.I Believe, help my unbelief.

Jo xx

Without a vision.....

"Where there is no vision the people perish" Proverbs 29 v 18

 "Write the vision, and make it plain upon tables, that he may run that readeth it"           Habakkuk 2v2

It's important to have something to aim for - to keep you on track when you get a little bogged down, to inspire you on the bad days, to focus you when there seems to be so many different options available to you.

Our goals for home educating are
laying down the rails that our childrens
lives will run on - what a responsibility!
All the more reason to lean on
the wisdom of Gods word rather than  our
own understanding..

Here is our home educating family vision, the big picture if you like.....

1. That the boys will find Christ as their personal saviour and to cultivate a relationship with Him through prayer and the study of the Bible. Jesus said,

 "The first of all the commandments is, Hear, O Israel; The Lord our God is one Lord: And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment" Mark 12 v29-30

"For what shall it profit a man, if he gain the world, and lose his own soul?" Matthew 16 v 24-26 

     If we succeed in giving our children a high standard of education academically, so that they can go any where and do anything they aspire to do in their future careers, but we neglect to instill in them a knowledge of the truth (that one day they can make their own decision  whether to  accept Jesus as their Lord and Saviour, to personally know and love Him, or not). Then I would consider that as a failure on our part as parents. Please  Note!  We are NOT trying to brainwash them - but to make the truth known, that they can make their choice - God doesn't want religious robots, he made us all with free will, he wants man to know him and love him through their own choice, and we cannot 'make' our children christians, anymore than we can make them like brussel sprouts! But we can instill in them biblical truth that will help them to judge right from wrong, truth from lie, which will serve them well in life on it's own, but more importantly,  it is also sowing seeds into their hearts and minds for the Holy Spirit to water and cultivate, drawing them into their own exciting walk with the Lord should they chose to follow it. And as we as parents seek to discharge our responsibiltiy to our children in this way and through prayer, we can be encouraged by Proverbs 22v6 which promises us,

"Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it."

2. After telling us the greatest commandment, Jesus went on to give the second,

"And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these." Mark 12 v 31

Cultivating right relationships, and a serving heart, be it in the home,family, friends or society,   and character training/ good habits  in the boys. The emphasis is on character and relationships. This is something which is done day in , day out, every day of the year - it is life. Living with them,' walking' with them in the nitty gritty, day to day life. The greatest way they learn is by example - now there's a challenge! These first 2 goals go right back to Deuteronomy 6:4-9.

3.To give them the skills they need to become life long learners, that they would enjoy learning. To provide a solid education (there will be a seperate post on 'what education is' at a future date), that they may work in what ever field they are led to. Including instilling in them a good work ethic, in their studies, their extra curricular activities, and responsibilties within the family.  (Luke 10v7 the labourer is worthy of his wage).
.

So there is the 'Big Picture', the 'vision' we are running with as a family.

What's yours?

Jo x

Home School? How could you?! Part 2.

Last time I started to answer the question I am often asked which is 'How could you home school?' when it is being asked in a way implying it's too hard, difficult, or 'too much'. And using Psalm 127 I started with,

 "Except the LORD build the house, they labour in vain that build it..." 

And my aim was to encourage you that if you will trust in the Lord with all your heart and in all your ways acknowledge Him then He will direct your paths, and that He will not lead you to a place where His grace cannot keep you.  He will provide you with the means to do it - what ever you need, wisdom, strength, finance - That is 'The LORD building the house' - not you... but the flip side to that is You building the house, not the Lord -  i.e. If you try to do something for God in your own ability and understanding instead of being led by His Holy Spirit and working in His power and strength which He gives to you by grace through faith, then you will more than likely not manage it, and burn out, and more than that it will be a fruitless building of wood, hay and straw, that will one day be burned away. How much better to do it the way He suggests -  when we humble ourselves to do it His way, we end up building with precious stones which last for ever.

The second key I wanted to highlight is this,

2."Lo children are an heritage of the LORD; and the fruit of the womb is His reward." Psalm 127

We all leave an impression  - but none so
important as that which we
leave in our children - it determines the
one they in turn will make on the world.

It comes down to how I view my children,( and also how I define education but that is for another time).
Not trusting my own take on things I would much rather see how God views this. Here He is saying that children are a BLESSING and a REWARD. (Really? those little terrors that sap all my energy, don't do as they're told, need to be told 3 times before they listen etc etc etc, are a blessing? YES!)

Our children are a gift from God.

 That's right,  they are HIS creation and He gives them to us for a while.What a privilege! Each one is skillfully and wonderfully made in secret and then given to us, entrusted to us, for a short time...Why? To love, nourish, nurture and train them up in the way they should go, equipping them for service (hopefully in the plan God has for them - but that is their decision when they are old enough to make it).
Parenting is a job with huge responsibility and your employer is God! ( Going back to point 1 : God isn't going to give you a job without the tools to do it!) Yes it is hard work at times, but God says in His word that children are a blessing, and they really are.
Look at your child, see who he is inside, see his potential, remember the joy of the babe in your arms. We have them for such a short time, why would I want to leave them with other people for 5 days a week, being influenced by people i don't know, their characters being trained by peers in the playground, and  being taught things in class that I may or may not agree with. For example - do I really want my primary school child being taught about sex education by a teacher or by his friends in the playground? Do I want them to know at 5, 6 or 7 yrs of age about the gay lifestyle how to have sex, etc? If  you don't think this is happening look at this report released March last year which lists the councils (including Devon County Council) and what materials they have for use in sex education in primary schools Click here and then on the word 'report' at the beginning of the 2nd paragraph to see the actual list of councils and their materials. once made compulsory (if it isn't already - i haven't been keeping up with government legislature since i removed the boys from school)- you will not be allowed to have your child removed from the lesson.

 We teach them from when they are 1 day old till 3yrs and then put them into nursery and then school, and each step of the way I feel like we lose a little bit more of them, then we wonder why the teen age years arrive and we don't know them anymore? - these young informative years are brief and what they are exposed to now, determines who they become later. I would much rather my children get their sense of who they are,  from a loving family environment, so they are free to learn and enjoy learning, instead of worrying about fitting in and  keeping up (socially in the playground and academically in the class room), I want to keep getting to know my boys as they grow up, as they change, as they develop into young men, because it won't be long and the boys will be men, striding out into the world to make their mark. What sort of men will they be? Only God knows - hence it's a good idea to keep seeking Him as to the best way to teach and raise them!

Whilst there were a few reasons for us chosing to homeschool what i have discussed today was the main drive behind it - I believe it is the best for our children - that doesn't mean I think everyone should do it - I believe we are all responsible for our own walk through this life - and as I said last time we are all individuals and God deals with us as such.

What do you think.....Any thoughts?

 Any comments or questions are gratefully received - if you disagree with anything I have written please remember this is my opinion or belief and I am entitled to it, as you are to yours  - you may comment but please be polite - or the comment will be removed. Opinions are like noses - we all have one,  but they are all different, with a couple of holes in!

Home school? How could you?! Part 1.

The short answer? By the grace of God!

Beautiful Lydford Forest, Devon.
This was taken before son number 3 came along.

      We have been homeschooling for little under a year, its a beautiful sometimes challenging pathway we are on and  have received wonderful encouragement, information and inspiration through reading other peoples blogs as they forge their way in the world of home educating.By starting this blog  I wanted to make our mark both in cyberspace and here in Devon, UK- to hopefully give a little back to the home educating blogging community, and to encourage others as we go on our way.

     Let me interject at this point - I am in no way suggesting I have all the answers or that our way is the only way, we are in the very early stages of this journey but I would like to share what we learn as we go, not just from a faith point of view but also practical activities, recipes, information etc. 

     I am especially hopeful to make a noise for those in England to hear, as I have found that the blogs I tend to read and enjoy the most, originate from America, which is wonderful but I am left wondering - why is it not so common over here? Maybe there are many Christian home educators here, but I feel we are a minority?  Any way - I have certainly found myself to be somewhat of an 'oddity' where I live in Devon, and even within the church.

      When the inevitable question is raised, "And where do your children go to school?", I take my breath, give my answer, "Actually, we home educate", and the general response is a look of surprise, and dare I say, horror even, as they take a step back and seem lost for words, "Oh." Then when they recover, "oh, well, I could never do that," "Doesn't it drive you mad?" "Why would you do such a thing?" "that's too much." (The common follow up question is "why?" and I will deal with that in another post, maybe it would make sense to do that first but hey, I'm new to blogging.)

To these people I would like to be able to say the following :

"Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it:......Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward."  Psalm 127

There are 2 keys here for me. I will share one now and the next post will cover the second.
 The first is this:


1. Except the LORD build the house, they labour in vain that build it:

We are all individuals, and God deals with us as such. He has a perfect plan for you, and your loved ones. His plan for me will be different than his plan for you -regardless of whether we are both home educating or not. What does He want you to do? Two people may hear the same sermon, or bible passage but each will respond differently as the Holy Spirit ministers to each where they are. If you try to home educate in your own strength instead of by His leading, you will not be enough, you will be building in vain. But if you put your trust in Him with your whole heart and acknowledge Him in all your ways, He promises to direct your path (Proverbs 3:5-6). And if you're worried about your capabilities in obeying his leading bear this in mind,

"God's Spirit won't lead you where His  grace can't keep you" *

Because He promises us,

"My grace is sufficient for you, my strength is made perfect in your weakness" 2 Cor 12:9

    Great is His faithfulness, His mercies are new every morning. (Lamentations 3:22-25). Just like the children of Israel  with manna in the desert (Exodus 16) - He supplies all our needs, of every sort,  for each day, as it arrives. And Jesus told us the Father knows what we need before we ask it, but we have not because we ask not. He is the good shepherd, He knows what He's doing, He merely asks us to trust and obey,

"He has shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the LORD require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God." Micah 6:8

"and the life I live, I live by faith in the Son of God....." Galatians 2:20

"the just shall live by faith" Hebrews 10:38

Q. Home School! How could you?
A. By the grace of God, and the power of His spirit at work within me.

I pray God blesses you and leads you  as you seek Him  in the way He has for you.

Next time I will move on to point number 2.........

Grace and peace,
Jo x    


                                   

  * I have heard this quote at some point and it really spoke to me but i do not know who spoke it.