New Year, New Beginnings - and the fall of a perfectionist homeschooling mother...

None of you are like that though right? Struggling, striving, exhausted, stressed and burnt out, perfectionist, homeschooling mothers?
Striving for that perfect yearly plan, termly plan, weekly plan, daily routine, book, curriculum, homeschool and the children to do it?
Well I've learnt my lesson the hard way - and I thank God for His grace and wisdom in teaching it to me.

We stopped for a very long break over Christmas as owing to being in the first trimester of my fourth pregnancy i was not well enough to keep up with planning and implementing the schooling for the boys. However, the new year has brought with it the second trimester and a new lease of life for the time being -praise the Lord! and also new beginnings in our home school.

Out of necessity I have had to release my dream of a purely Charlotte Mason style education. The fact is - we have found it hard to do CM having not done it from the beginning - the boys came from attending public school for a number of years , then started home schooling - whilst the transition can and has been made by many before us - for us after 2 years it was not happening - and it has to be said this is more down to me and  my ability to learn it, and implement it, rather than the boys themselves - though there were one or two issues for them as individuals as well. Maybe this could I am sure, have all been sorted with more time -  however, on learning I was pregnant and with my youngest due to leave nursery and start home education at the same time Baby is due....i needed to find a path that was less teacher dependent and more independant for the two older boys.
(All you CM'ers out there are probably throwing your hands up and shouting at the screen "but cm is not teacher led - the teacher should not be getting in the way of the child and the living books!" and I agree - but in practice for us at least, all my time was spent reading, planning, learning about CM for myself how to improve narrations, trying to blend different years to suit the individual child - especially with public school background, planning, tweaking, planning, narrations, and more planning as we still haven't mastered this part of cm and that part is still missing from our school so we are failing - scratch that I  must be failing as the pupil can only go as far as the teacher right? so more planning, changing, research, planning - you get the idea.... My whole life was about schooling and there was no time for anything else - it was becoming a burden too big to bear, and was robbing me (and our family) in so many ways  - and so with the news of baby no 4 - I knew I couldn't carry on like this - The boys were not getting much done because i was never 'ready' for them - I had no time to enjoy the boys, or be with my Husband, this would only get worse as life was about to get more busy....

The outcome?

I love the CM philosophy and so I am not abandoning it all together - in fact I am hoping (though I am not rushing in to any decision yet) to use CM with my 4 year old when he is ready - the hope being, that using it from the beginning will mean it is easier for him and myself to implement and learn together as he grows.
For the older two, the plan that has come about, (after much crying out to the Lord, seeking the advise of my Husband, and the advise of his parents who home schooled him and his siblings), at first, railed against my 'perfectionist' spirit, but now we are nearly through our first week, I am left smiling and so are the boys! I have spare time to write this blog, do chores, prepare good wholesome food, and be the wife and mother I am supposed to be - not just a teacher.
 I do believe CM is the 'best' we can give our children - if we can.
And there is the 'rub'.
 I have come to see the best is actually not any good if it's not getting done - so therefore the 'best' is whatever you manage to use and get done in your home, and which does not become so burdensome that you have no time for maintaining those vital relationships in the home - with the Lord , your spouse, and with your children, and their relationships with each other. All I was teaching my children through my everyday living was that doing the will of God is hard, exhausting, too much to handle, and takes you away from family, the impression i was leaving on my children was one of anxiety, frustration, tiredness and grumpiness, that achieving was the most important thing  etc etc - this was giving a false , untrue image of God, His provision, and His way of living, loving and obeying - it made Him seem like a hard task master rather than a loving Father full of grace and peace - all because of my fleshly drive to do the "best" (to my mind!)
So, yet again , God has had to remind me -"My ways are not your ways" and so I have had to humbly submit to God - and lay down my pride, my ways, my plans and ideas of what are best - and surrender to His way for us to go at this time...
Next time i will post how our days are looking, and what we are doing.  Fear not - there is still some CM in there - but without the pressure I / we were experiencing before. Joy has returned - as it was bound to, once coming back in line with God's plan for us.

I guess I write all this to let you other home schoolers out there know - take courage - none of us are perfect, we make bad choices, feel guilty, feel like we are failing, you are not alone! But listen:  it's ok to not do exactly what any given curriculum or method says to - please don't let your chosen method become your master, let it be a tool  and do not be afraid to have more than one tool - whatever you need to make a right fit for your family - is good and ok - and don't let anyone (including yourself - all you perfectionists out there!) tell you any different.
 Keep going back to His throne of grace to find help in time of need.
Where God leads, He provides.
Whilst we are to expect trouble in this life as Jesus said we would, He also promised His burden is easy and light - so as I have learned the hard way this last year - if it is not easy and light - maybe you have added your own extras to His perfect one?

Grace and Peace to you.
Jo x

Charlotte Mason Style: Nature study and Journals.

The Canal walk in Tavistock.

We use Charlotte Mason methods for our home schooling. (please do some research on this amazing lady and her insights and methods of educating children (do a google search or try simplycharlottemason.com).

One of the things a CM education includes is Nature Study- and again - there are many ways you can do this depending on the age and interests of your kids etc (again - a google search is great to see how others do it). You can simply go to your garden or hedgerow, your park or local area and you can usually spot something of interest - be it animal, plant, insect, weather. The point is for the child to notice something he hasn't before, sketch it and then write about it - something new he has found out - by researching it when you get home (how much you do is age relevant - it might be simply 'a plant' or its colour for a wee one and as they get older it might be the veins on the leaf and what they do). The Nature journal grows with the child. The boys have an a4 sketch book each.  I like the boys to date the sketch and include in their information what it is, where they spotted the subject, observations about it (i.e. behaviour, pattern, how many etc  maybe also what the weather was like if it is relevant). The sketch itself should be as detailed as they can manage  - and should be from observation - actually what they can see - not what they think it should be like. Then we look it up in a book or on the internet at home to add something new about it that they have discovered.  I tend to carry my digital camera with me whenever we head out in general, in case we spot something on the way (we do a lot of walking!),  the photos can be used in the journal, or for them to sketch from (especially if they want to sketch a bird or animal that won't oblige us by sitting still for us for 10 minutes!)
Here is something we happened upon by chance on a walk with some friends - it was not a planned nature walk, just an outing with friends along what I call the canal walk. The canal starts in Tavistock town centre and heads out through woods along side the River Tavy, and on (if you could go far enough), to Morwellham Quay - however the public only have access so far today and the rest has been fenced off. Anyway - we enjoyed lovely company, a packed lunch, the boys built dens in the woods with their friend whilst us pair of mums sat with a flask of tea and fed the toddlers. On the way the boys spotted this bunch....

.....they were not in the canal but in a little trickle of a stream at one of the entrance paths to the wood. The children stood for a very long time spotting them, counting them (how many can you spot?), just enjoying them - and that was all they wanted to talk about all the way home! You see....education can happen anywhere at any time.

Nature journaling encourages the child to observe (a skill that children don't often have time to hone) and make connections and relationships with his surroundings and to see the Creator behind it.  It incorporates regular practise of sketching and art skills, it is a platform for teaching referencing and research skills, reading (to learn - not reading for readings sake), new vocabulary is learned and understood, writing skills are used,  and you get exercise thrown into the deal too - so in a traditional 'school mindset' you can say that english, p.e., reading, writing, art and science are all being done in one hit! 

Nature walks are supposed to be regular - may be once or twice a week - though i confess we haven't managed it that frequently - but i think - especially for little ones - it can be much more frequent than that, relaxed and opportunistic,  I believe I read that Charlotte would have her students get out for a walk every afternoon, all other studies were to be finished by the afternoon so it was free for going  outside - however I am not Charlotte Mason - she seems to have been a force to be reckoned with! 

In theory then: For Little ones i would suggest a little sketch pad and even if they only manage a blob (for a snail) with a wiggly line behind it (for the trail) , they have achieved an observation (excellent!) ask what it is (they are telling you what they already know, excellent!) if they say - it's a snail with slime - read something together about it and ask them  for one new thing they  heard, and maybe from what you read they may say - the slime is called a trail (excellent - something new has been learned ask them to label this new word on the sketch) Job done! As the child grows so will the skill of drawing and observing, researching etc. I have for my boys a ringbinder each , they have the sketch book to take out and about - then when it is done they take the page and hole punch it, and it is stored in the nature study folder. As this grows - the hope is they will start to categorise where each page needs to go - maybe the folder will be divided into animals, plants, weather, skys, or maybe it will be dividied by type of area - town, country, seaside etc. The point is it is personal, relational and individual to each child. They may like to take samples of leaves, flowers, feathers, learn the tracks animals make, etc - all can be put in there. At first for little ones it is anything that catches their eye or interest - as they get older you can 'plan' a theme depending on the time of year - maybe birds for the winter as you can attract them to your garden and observe them without leaving the house, or winter tree buds / winter tree silhouettes - can you learn which tree is which when it has no leaves? the list goes on and on. Currently Nathan is desperate to make a wormery, whist Jake is absorbed by rocks/gems. 

Whilst it is good to let them explore their interests - it is also important that they follow your plan - they need to develope a good habit of applying themselves to a task - even if it's not their favourite, after all we all have to do things in life we find less than exciting. Plus, they will never find and discover new interests if they are allowed to only follow what they already like. 

Having said that all - I must lead you to this page fpr a quick, funny and encouraging read. We can all get too tied up with our high expectations of what our home schooling should be like, and we pour so much into 'our' plans - and it is right that we be responsible and plan so that the dear children are not running wild and illiterate - to make sure we are covering the essentials etc - but  God has told us

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD.

 For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts. Isaiah 55 v 8-9

 And as this dear lady writes in the link I gave you,

"..homeschooling is, at any rate, God's plan to bring the self-sufficient woman into dependence upon Him."

My experience so far certainly causes me to shout a big "Amen!" to that, and I wouldn't have it any other way!

What about you...... How do you implement nature study (if at all)? What things have you come across that have stood out? Do your kids keep a journal - is it different to how we do ours? What about you seasoned home educators out there - any tips or inspiration you can share? Please share....

In Him

Jo

xxx